Make Sure Boss Smoking Area is Safe..

Safety at workplace will cover all type of incidences. Safety come first. Well, it is the same anyway if you think about it. Just that one is slow the other is immediate. So bootlickers advice, don't stand at "ledge" and quit smoking. Bootlickers support live longer policy!

Identifying bootlickers

Situation:
The Group CEO just announced the quantum of the bonus payout this year for last year performance. For the MRs - meet requirement (level three), it'll be 2.5 months. For the Excellent performers (level four) it'll be something like 3.75 months. And for the Outstanding performers (level five) it's going to be 5 months. No announcement for level one and two, no bonus I believe (they don't licked enough last year).

Under normal circumstances:
When the individual rating for last year performance is still not made known to the staff, they usually will start calculating the MR-level of bonus, which is 2.5 months. That's normal. And it sounds logic, safe and achievable, under normal circumstances.

However:
You'll find certain people who will start talking about getting level four or even level five, confidently. Level three bonus payout is never in their dictionary.

And most of the time:
These are the BOOTLICKERS!


BOOOOOOO!!!!!

Bootlicker's performance rating

It's appraisal time. An all-year round above-par performance wouldn't assure an above-average rating and year-end incentive/bonus and salary increment. More so, if bell curve is applied in the appraisal system, when more often than not you'll see the same person will occupy the right tail of the bell curve.

In cases when you have two persons, one a bootlicker and the other is not, having almost similar performance rating but with only one slot for above-average incentives, the bootlicker will prevail.

And one of the elements that qualify a bootlicker for an above-par performance for last year, was the willingness an ability to scratch boss' back, top or bottom (glove is not allowed)... :-)

"Helo Bos" by Dee (Utusan Malaysia, 25 Feb 2008)

When bootlicker quits

Quitting a current job is the last thing a bootlicker would do. Quitting will only be sensible when the current boss quits and the incoming boss is unlickable. However, sometimes bootlickers may find licking tastier elsewhere.

When the opportunity comes, bootlickers may find out how to call it the day to the boss. Most of the times, bootlickers will find it very difficult to do so. Even the boss will find it difficult to swallow the fact that his/her best licker is leaving. And to find a replacement licker isn't easy, either.

Bootlickers should try to smoothen the process by telling the boss that the resignation has nothing to do with the boss, it's just another opportunity you can't let go. And most importantly, bootlickers should say,

"Boss, if I have chance, I love to work with you (read: lick you) again in the future, in this company or elsewhere."

Choi!!!

What Happenes When The Boss Is Not Around?

Have you licked enough?

Your colleagues may have the impression that you've done enough licking. But the final judgment is with your BOSS, whether you've licked him/her enough or you need to double up your licking activities and efforts.

You know when you haven't licked enough when this situation occurs...

BOSS: So, what's the target for 2008?
Bootlicker: I think the target is 655,000 subscribers.

BOSS: Are you sure?! That's almost double last year's achievement!! Have you challenged the target with the Sales team? Have they justified to you the basis of the target? Or is it just a P.O.O.M.A. number?!

For a bootlicker, when the word P.O.O.M.A. comes out from the BOSS' ass mouth, that's a sign you've not licked your BOSS enough.

So, when you hear P.O.O.M.A., continue licking and do it more!


==
P.O.O.M.A. = Pluck Out Of My Ass

Monkey Talk..