What kind of boss are you when...
Your staff stay back to finish their works when you're not around in office, and go home right on time (to the exact second) when you're around in office.
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Don't think too hard...
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You're just an asshole boss!
An asshole boss normally calls you on weekends, or when you're away on leave. What should you do? Should you simply don't answer those calls, or you answer them but hang up soon after you answer them. Why not? Not brave enough?! Even President-Elect Barack Obama got hung up by one of his congresswoman.
(from Yahoo! News) On Wednesday, the Republican congresswoman got a call from President-elect Barack Obama, didn't believe it was him, and hung up on him. Twice. According to Ros-Lehtinen's flack Alex Cruz, the congresswoman received the call on her cell phone from a Chicago-based number and an aide informed her that Obama wanted to speak to her.
When Obama introduced himself, Ros-Lehtinen cut him off and said, "I'm sorry but I think this is a joke from one of the South Florida radio stations known for these pranks." Then she hung up. Moments later, Obama tried again, this time through his soon-to-be chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel. "Ileana, I cannot believe you hung up on the President-Elect," Emanuel said. And then--yes, you know what's coming--she hung up on Emanuel saying she "didn't believe the call was legitimate."
A short time later, Ros-Lehtinen received an urgent call from Rep. Howard Berman (D-Calif.), the chairman of the Foreign Affairs Committee, who informed her that she indeed hung up on Obama. So, Obama tried again and this time he was successful. (Phew!) "It is very funny that you have twice hung up on me," Obama said.
Ros Lehtinen responded by telling Obama that radio stations in South Florida always make these sorts of jokes. Obama said similar pranksters reside in Chi-town. "You are either very gracious to reach out in such a bipartisan manner or had run out of folks to call if you are truly calling me and Saturday Night Live could use a good Obama impersonator like you," Ros-Lehtinen joked with the president-elect.
So, the next time your asshole boss calls you on weekend or while you're away on leave, just hang up. When you got back to office, tell him "I thought the calls were from that stupid 'Kena Kantoi' radio show." Even if your boss got angry, at least it put a smile on your spouse's face!
A true leader requires no bootlicking antics. If all leaders are 'true' leaders...
(taken from forwarded email)
The Norwegian newspaper VG has reported a truly amazing story about a newly-wed trying to get to Norway to be with her husband, and the stranger who helped pay an unexpected luggage surcharge. The blog 'Leisha's Random Thoughts' has translated the story:
It was 1988, and Mary Andersen was in line at the Miami airport checking in for a long flight to Norway to be with her husband. When it was finally Mary's turn, she got the message that would crush her bubbling feeling of happiness. "You'll have to pay a 103 dollar surcharge if you want to bring both those suitcases to Norway ," the man behind the counter said.
Mary had no money. Her new husband had travelled ahead of her to Norway , and she had no one else to call. "I was completely desperate and tried to think which of my things I could manage without. But I had already made such a careful selection of my most prized possessions," says Mary.
As tears streamed down her face, she heard a 'gentle and friendly voice' behind her saying, "That's okay, I'll pay for her." Mary turned around to see a tall man whom she had never seen before. He had a gentle and kind voice that was still firm and decisive. "The first thing I thought was, Who is this man?"
Although this happened 20 years ago, Mary still remembers the authority that radiated from the man. He was nicely dressed, with brown leather shoes, a cotton shirt open at the throat and khaki pants, says Mary.
She was thrilled to be able to bring both her suitcases to Norway and assured the stranger that he would get his money back. The man wrote his name and address on a piece of paper that he gave to Mary. She thanked him repeatedly. When she finally walked off towards the security checkpoint, he waved goodbye to her.
Who was the man? Barack Obama.
Twenty years later, she is thrilled that the friendly stranger at the airport may be the next President and has voted for him already and donated 100 dollars to his campaign:
"He was my knight in shining armor," says Mary, smiling.
She paid the 103 dollars back to Obama the day after she arrived in Norway . At that time he had just finished his job as a poorly paid community worker in Chicago , and had started his law studies at prestigious Harvard university.
Mary even convinced her parents to vote for him: In the spring of 2006 Mary's parents had heard that Obama was considering a run for president, but that he had still not decided. They chose to write a letter in which they told him that he would receive their votes. At the same time, they thanked Obama for helping their daughter 18 years earlier.
And Obama replied. In a letter to Mary's parents dated May 4th 2006 and stamped "United States Senate, Washington DC ' Barack Obama writes:
"I want to thank you for the lovely things you wrote about me and for reminding me of what happened at Miami airport. I'm happy I could help back then, and I'm delighted to hear that your daughter is happy in Norway. Please send her my best wishes. Sincerely, Barack Obama , United States Senator".
The parents sent the letter on to Mary.
Mary says that when her friends and associates talk about the election, especially when race relations is the heated subject, she relates the story of the kind man who helped out a stranger-in-need over twenty years ago, years before he had even thought about running for high office.
Ok, now ask from your boss $100! lol
You’ve been hearing your asshole BOSS is athletic. Who cares? He is an asshole. Anyway and finally, if what you’ve been hearing is true, everyone in the company may find your asshole BOSS useful to the company especially during inter-department or inter-subsidiary companies sports carnival.
One day you had a conversation with your asshole BOSS…
You: So, what games do you play?
Asshole BOSS: Owh… I play all games.
You: Are you sure?!
Asshole BOSS: Ya ya!! I even do track and field.
You: Whoaa… track and field, too?! What event in track and field?
Asshole BOSS: All. Especially pecut (dash events)
You: 100m or 200m?
Asshole BOSS: Both I can.
You: So, you can take corners very well in 200m?
Asshole BOSS: That’s my favorite part. Oh yeah.. I also swim very well.
You: Really? What style?
Asshole BOSS: All laaa… especially the butterfly. That’s my favorite.
You: Butterfly?! That’s the most difficult.
Asshole BOSS: Of course, I’ve been swimming since I was a kid.
So, when the inter-subsidiary companies sport carnival came, your asshole BOSS was selected to play badminton. One reason for the selection was based on his claim, “I was the second team for Malaysia. I used to spar against Rashid Sidek.”
And when the tournament day arrived, not just your asshole BOSS didn’t get to play the men single matchup (as there are other better single players around), your asshole BOSS lost all four men’s doubles matchups and he claimed of muscle pull and crammed on his legs for his losses.
And at the end of the competition, one of your friends said, “If he was Rashid Sidek's sparring partner, his opponents must be Lin Dan’s sparring partner then!” There and there you feel like kicking your asshole BOSS into a swimming pool and see him doing the butterfly.
Oh well, your asshole BOSS is an asshole, anyway. Whatever comes from his mouth will go directly to the toilet bowl.
You've been having problems (to sync) with your asshole BOSS. You requested for transfer, but was turned down by your asshole BOSS, although other BOSSES would love to take you in. All you could do is to find jobs elsewhere and resign from the current one.
You're making a good progress in getting a job somewhere else. But, suddenly you've been hearing there's a plot by the top ranked BOSSES to get your asshole BOSS out of the company. And they're seriously thinking about it. Even, statements like "why is he (your asshole BOSS) is also having trouble with his peers?" and "he's not articulate" keep cropping up.
So, what should you do?
Wait and hold on to the job til the top management get rid of your asshole BOSS, hoping you'll get a better replacement. Or keep looking for jobs?
I'll keep looking for jobs elsewhere. Who can assure the replacement would not be assholed as the current one? But, one thing you can be assured of... even others know your asshole BOSS is an asshole BOSS.
There is one meeting that require your boss to attend. However, he couldn't attend the meeting because he is busy (like others are not?! fuck!). With limited resources, he has no other choice than to send you as representative to the meeting. But, he knows he couldn't trust that you will brief him what the meeting is all about. So, he called the organizer.
Your stupid Boss: About the meeting tomorrow... you know laa I'm very busy so it's a bit tight for me to attend.
Meeting organizer: Ok, so I'm assuming you're not attending.
Your stupid Boss: I'll send my staff, ***** to represent me.
Meeting organizer: Ok, noted. Will forward the invitation to him.
Your stupid Boss: But, can you send me the presentation materials, later? You know lah.. my staff won't share with me. He likes to work on his own...
Crap! What a boss without balls he is?
Next time you see him, put a satanic smile on your face and just tell him, "Law #3 and Law #4!"
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Law #3: Conceal your intentions
Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. If they have no clue what you are up to, they cannot prepare a defense. Guide them far enough down the wrong path, envelope them in enough smoke, and by the time they realize your intentions, it will be too late.
Law #4: Always say less than necessary
When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.
